Living with Fibromyalgia plus Alexithymia

My brother's recent struggles have been a stark reminder of the importance of Stoic philosophy in navigating life's challenges. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus emphasized three key areas for personal growth.  First, he stressed the importance of mastering our desires and aversions. My brother's addiction to drugs and gambling has led to a cascade of unfortunate events, highlighting the destructive power of unchecked desires.  Second, Epictetus emphasized the importance of acting with purpose, rather than impulsively. My brother's actions, driven by addiction, have consistently led to negative consequences, from job instability to the potential loss of a cherished possession.  Third, Epictetus stressed the importance of cultivating sound judgment. Developing the ability to perceive reality accurately is essential. My brother's clouded judgment, likely influenced by his addiction, may be hindering his ability to assess his situation honestly and make sound decisions. ...

“Erase the false impressions from your mind by constantly saying to yourself, I have it in my soul to keep out any evil, desire or any kind of disturbance—instead, seeing the true nature of things, I will give them only their due. Always remember this power that nature gave you.”  —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.29 Living with fibromyalgia and alexithymia presents unique challenges. Fibromyalgia, with its constant, invisible pain, can easily trigger frustration and anger. Alexithymia, on the other hand, makes it difficult to identify and understand the emotions underlying these reactions. The Stoic principle of controlling one's reactions, however, offers a powerful framework for navigating these challenges. While I can't control the chronic pain that often feels like a constant, unwelcome companion, I can control how I react to it. Initially, the pain would often leave me feeling overwhelmed and resentful. I'd find myself dwelling on the unfairness of it all, allowing the...

"What’s left to be prized? This, I think—to limit our action or inaction to only what’s in keeping with the needs of our own preparation . . . it’s what the exertions of education and teaching are all about—here is the thing to be prized! If you hold this firmly, you’ll stop trying to get yourself all the other things. . . . If you don’t, you won’t be free, self-sufficient, or liberated from passion, but necessarily full of envy, jealousy, and suspicion for any who have the power to take them, and you’ll plot against those who do have what you prize. . . . But by having some self-respect for your own mind and prizing it, you will please yourself and be in better harmony with your fellow human beings, and more in tune with the gods—praising everything they have set in order and allotted you." —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.16.2b–4a Today, like any other day, I find myself grappling with the stress of making ends meet and providing for my family. Living with fibromyalgia and ...

“From Rusticus . . . I learned to read carefully and not be satisfied with a rough understanding of the whole, and not to agree too quickly with those who have a lot to say about something.”  —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 1.7.3 In today's fast-paced world, we're inundated with information. News feeds scroll endlessly, opinions fly fast, and it's easy to get swept away by the torrent of words. We often accept information at face value, forming opinions based on headlines and snippets, rather than engaging in a deeper, more critical analysis. This intellectual laziness, as Marcus Aurelius reminds us, hinders our ability to achieve true understanding. This Stoic principle encourages us to question our assumptions, to delve deeper than surface-level information, and to resist the urge to blindly accept the opinions of others. In a world overflowing with information, true understanding requires effort, discipline, and a genuine desire to learn. It demands that we slow down, que...

“Let’s pass over to the really rich—how often the occasions they look just like the poor! When they travel abroad they must restrict their baggage, and when haste is necessary, they dismiss their entourage. And those who are in the army, how few of their possessions they get to keep . . .” —SENECA, ON CONSOLATION TO HELVIA, 12. 1.b–2  As I sat contemplating today's Stoic lesson, a profound question arose: What wouldn't I trade for more time with my loved ones? Money? Material possessions? The answer was clear: nothing. More time translates to more memories, and those are infinitely more valuable than any material object. My home, unfortunately, tells a different story. It's filled with 'knickknacks' – a collection of odds and ends that accumulate over time. My wife gently reminds me of the need to declutter, but I often find myself clinging to these items. 'What's the point of losing this?' I ask myself. 'Does it truly bring me happiness, or just a ...

“I will keep constant watch over myself and—most usefully—will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil—that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We reflect upon only that which we are about to do. And yet our plans for the future descend from the past.”  —SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 83.2 Today was a difficult day. My wife woke up in discomfort, a stark reminder of the stress I've been carrying. My mother's declining health has cast a long shadow over our lives, leaving me feeling withdrawn and distant. I'm struggling to balance my duty to care for my mother with my responsibility to my wife, and the weight of it all feels overwhelming. Watching a beloved parent deteriorate is an agonizing experience. My mother, a woman of incredible strength, is facing her own mortality with a courage that both inspires and terrifies me. She yearns for autonomy, for the freedom to live out the remainder of her life on her own terms. Yet, the thought of losing her control ...

“Ask yourself the following first thing in the morning: What am I lacking in attaining freedom from passion? What for tranquility? What am I? A mere body, estate-holder, or reputation? None of these things. What, then? A rational being. What then is demanded of me? Meditate on your actions. How did I steer away from serenity? What did I do that was unfriendly, unsocial, or uncaring? What did I fail to do in all these things?”  —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.6.34–35 My mother's recent health decline has been a significant source of stress. Witnessing her confusion, memory lapses, and the recent fall that left her with a black eye and potentially bruised ribs has stirred a range of emotions within me – fear, frustration, and a deep sense of helplessness. Epictetus encourages us to examine our passions. Am I allowing fear of the unknown or the grief of potential loss to consume me? How can I cultivate tranquility in the face of these challenges? Can I find peace in accepting the present mo...

“Your principles can’t be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them, for it’s continually in your power to reignite new ones. . . . It’s possible to start living again! See things anew as you once did—that is how to restart life!” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.2 Life with fibromyalgia has thrown me many curveballs. The chronic pain, fatigue, and cognitive difficulties can often feel overwhelming, leaving me feeling lost and adrift. But amidst the challenges, I've rediscovered a powerful truth: learning and helping others are the cornerstones of a meaningful life. This realization harkens back to my childhood. I've always found joy in understanding things deeply, whether it was deciphering complex math problems for my classmates or diving headfirst into the world of technology to support others online. Even in the face of debilitating illness, I refuse to let my thirst for knowledge and desire to contribute fade. My journey with fibromyalgia has presented ...

“A podium and a prison is each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.”   —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.6.2 Living with fibromyalgia is a constant negotiation. Every day, I face a barrage of sensations – a dull ache that throbs like a distant drum, a hypersensitivity to touch that makes even the lightest touch feel like a burning ember. When I've navigated a long day, juggling chores and responsibilities, the weight of the pain presses down, and my patience, already frayed, snaps. Unfortunately, alexithymia shrouds my emotions in a fog. I often don't recognize when my words are sharp, my tone curt, leaving a trail of hurt feelings in my wake. It's like trying to navigate a crowded room while wearing a blindfold – I bump into people, unintentionally causing upset. Daily, I don the mask of resilience, striving to fulfill my obligations. I navigate my responsibilities, ever mindful that each individual I enc...