A MORNING RITUAL

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“Ask yourself the following first thing in the morning: What am I lacking in attaining freedom from passion? What for tranquility? What am I? A mere body, estate-holder, or reputation? None of these things. What, then? A rational being. What then is demanded of me? Meditate on your actions. How did I steer away from serenity? What did I do that was unfriendly, unsocial, or uncaring? What did I fail to do in all these things?” 
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.6.34–35

My mother's recent health decline has been a significant source of stress. Witnessing her confusion, memory lapses, and the recent fall that left her with a black eye and potentially bruised ribs has stirred a range of emotions within me – fear, frustration, and a deep sense of helplessness.

Epictetus encourages us to examine our passions. Am I allowing fear of the unknown or the grief of potential loss to consume me? How can I cultivate tranquility in the face of these challenges? Can I find peace in accepting the present moment, however difficult it may be?

The Stoics emphasize that true self-worth lies not in our health or our circumstances, but in our virtue – in how we respond to adversity. My mother's refusal to seek proper medical care, even when her health deteriorates, presents a difficult dilemma. Witnessing her express a sense of resignation, stating that she feels her time is up, deeply affects me. Can I honor her autonomy while simultaneously ensuring her safety and well-being? Can I find strength in supporting her, not from a place of fear or frustration, but from a place of love and compassion?

This situation tests my ability to act with reason and kindness, even when faced with uncertainty and the possibility of loss. Can I find ways to alleviate her discomfort and provide comfort without imposing my own will? Can I offer a listening ear, validating her feelings while gently encouraging her to consider the potential benefits of seeking professional medical attention?

This experience also serves as a poignant reminder of my own mortality. As I witness my mother's aging and the inevitable decline that accompanies it, I am confronted with my own fears of aging and the unknown. How can I use this experience to cultivate a deeper appreciation for the present moment and live a life aligned with my values?

These questions will guide my reflections today. I will strive to find inner peace, to act with virtue, and to support my mother with the grace and dignity that she deserves, even as I grapple with the uncertainty of her health and the inevitability of life's changes.










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