WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOUR CHOICE IS

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“A podium and a prison is each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.” 
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.6.2
Living with fibromyalgia is a constant negotiation. Every day, I face a barrage of sensations – a dull ache that throbs like a distant drum, a hypersensitivity to touch that makes even the lightest touch feel like a burning ember. When I've navigated a long day, juggling chores and responsibilities, the weight of the pain presses down, and my patience, already frayed, snaps.

Unfortunately, alexithymia shrouds my emotions in a fog. I often don't recognize when my words are sharp, my tone curt, leaving a trail of hurt feelings in my wake. It's like trying to navigate a crowded room while wearing a blindfold – I bump into people, unintentionally causing upset.

Daily, I don the mask of resilience, striving to fulfill my obligations. I navigate my responsibilities, ever mindful that each individual I encounter is engaged in their own unique struggle, grappling with their own set of challenges and priorities, much like myself. Recognizing this shared human experience, I do everything I can to choose to extend understanding, acknowledging that I too would likely behave similarly under comparable circumstances. The crucial distinction lies not in the external circumstances themselves, but in the internal choices we make regarding how we allow them to impact us.

Today, I experience a relative respite from the usual burden of pain, having administered additional medication. It is the Sabbath, a day traditionally designated for rest and rejuvenation. I have enjoyed a brief period of social interaction, visiting with my wife's friends, one of which who recently underwent cancer surgery. This individual serves as a remarkable example of Stoic resilience. Despite the significant physical and emotional challenges presented by her illness, she consistently chooses to cultivate a positive outlook and engage with life with grace and fortitude. Her unwavering spirit serves as a potent reminder that true freedom lies not in the absence of adversity, but in our ability to navigate challenges with courage and equanimity.

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